my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We are two peas in an std pod
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
