I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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