In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
