it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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