I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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