I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
did you just send me my own nude
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
