you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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