I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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