Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My bed smells like the plague
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
