The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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