The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
