They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
