At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
