She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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