Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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