My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Green mimosas i think yes
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
