i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
