Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
