Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
