Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
