Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
