found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
