I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
