Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
