if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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