Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
