Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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