I want to have your abortion
I cannot find my penis.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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