I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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