When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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