Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
