I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
