Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize