The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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