something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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