She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
