I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
