I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So many bounce houses so little time
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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