He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
