we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
