I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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