You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
