If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
