btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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