he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
