ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
