He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Boobs speak an international language.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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