The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
