Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Found the puke drawer
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
