There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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