Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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