Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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