man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
